Author: Shattered Tenshi and Kira Shadow
Genre: AU, Angst
Pairing: one-sided (?) Takizawa Hideaki (Tono) x Fujigaya Taisuke, a little Kitayama Hiromitsu x Fujigaya Taisuke.
Warnings: Character death, more angst
Notes: Tono is a feudal lord, for those who doesn't know. Following the previous installment, reaching the end. Taisuke/Tono's POV, written round-robin style.
手放す: to part with; to release; to relinquish; to send away
A person must learn to let go of certain things if he wishes to move forward.
In the end, perhaps it's alright to believe in what you want to believe in.
(For more of the universe, click here.)
Words Piercing Your Heart Like Arrows
By Shattered Tenshi and Kira Shadow
Taisuke hadn't heard the entire conversation. All he had heard had been how Kitayama had accused somebody of being hungry for power and when he had opened the door quietly, what he had witnessed had shocked him beyond anything he had experienced so far in his life. He watched as Kitayama was killed by Takizawa's advisor and Takizawa was just standing there, watching. The other's sword was flung towards him and just then, he felt something inside of him snap. Kitayama had been the one to take care of him after Takizawa had discarded him and now the other had been killed. He felt like he owed the other at least vengeance.
Picking up the sword, Taisuke had stepped into the room and had said his goodbyes to Kitayama, before rising back up to his feet. "I shall be your oponent, Yokoyama..." he announced quietly and then it happened very quickly. The other had seemed surprised to see him and apparently had not expected him to be able to wield a sword at all. He had stumbled backwards and Taisuke sent his head flying the next moment.
With Yokoyama out of the way, his sword tip was pointed at Takizawa next. Just like Hiromitsu, he still had unfinished business with the lord of the castle.
"Takizawa..." Taisuke whispered softly.
Taisuke would have never imagined being in this situation when he went out for a walk, knowing Kitayama did as well. He had been somewhat hoping to meet up with the other or perhaps see other people he had left behind around the castle. He had of course had a lot of memories flashback in his mind as he walked around. He had been to many parts of the castle before and each part had a certain memory attached to it.
He had tried not to let those memories influence him, but now that Taisuke was standing in front of Takizawa, he had to control himself and not let his emotions run wild.
"...why did you let Yokohama kill Hiromitsu?" Taisuke asked in a low voice, gripping the sword tightly, drops of blood dripping from its tip. "Had it been your plan all along? To lure Hiromitsu here and get rid of him? You didn't plan on any negotiations at all?"
Other than the sadness from losing Kitayama, Taisuke also felt disappointment. Had he been hoping some sort of change from Takizawa after all? Would that have required a miracle?
Drawing his own sword, Takizawa looked at Taisuke, "No...please let me explain...!" He eyed Taisuke and the sword in the other's hand warily.
Taisuke bit down on his lip. "I can't trust you anymore, Takizawa. I don't know how to..." He raised the sword and swung it at Takizawa. Even if that was blocked, he didn't stop and continued to try to at least slash the other.
Takizawa blocked the hits. "No, please, Taisuke...let me explain! Let me tell you the truth! This isn't what you think it is!" The lord's voice sounded pleading almost.
"Why should I?" Taisuke let out a cry of despair. "You let Hiromitsu die! He was the one who saved me, who gave me a reason to live again! You...you were the one who threw me away!"
"I never meant to do all of this! I did not know about what was going on behind my back! It was never my intention to throw you away! You who...seemed to be the only one to make the pain of losing Tsubasa go away...even if just for a few short moments..." Takizawa tried to reason with Taisuke. "Kitayama, too...he was killed by schemes that had been made without me knowing of them! I was so glad to see him alive! And if I could have stopped it, I would have stopped Yokoyama from doing all of this! I swear!"
"You never meant to," Taisuke let out a dry laugh. "I don't know anymore, Takizawa. What to believe, who to trust...Hiromitsu and Yokoyama are now both dead. No one can prove your words to me anymore."
As Taisuke's attacks grew more intense, Takizawa had no other choice but to react to them in earnest. "Do you really despise me that much now, Taisuke?"
"I don't know!" Taisuke cried out. "You wouldn't know how it was like for me though, those two, almost three years where you stopped calling for me. You were my everything, yet you..."
"They told me you-" Takizawa's next move did not just send Taisuke's swords flying but also had Takizawa's blade buried in his chest half-way. "Oh god, no, I didn't mean to! Taisuke!" Takizawa looked horrified at his own hands. His body had been fighting by reflex.
Taisuke immediately coughed out some blood, falling on to his knees. "T-Takizawa..."
"No! What...What have I done..." Takizawa carefully pulled out his sword and held Taisuke, calling out for a doctor, a healer but nobody seemed to be around. "Taisuke!" he pressed his own hand over the wound in a futile attempt to stop it from bleeding profusely. "I'm sorry...!"
Taisuke coughed a few more times, feeling his strength slowly leaving him. "I...have so much to ask you..."
Memories started to flash through his mind as he reached out to want to touch Takizawa, yet not really touching either. Takizawa had smiled for him when he danced. He had given him presents, complimented him, kissed him, held him...
"Please, Taisuke...don't leave me...please forgive me..." Takizawa held on to Taisuke tightly, "I never meant to cast you away...I was being fed lies by those around me...You really were special to me! Please believe that..."
"Kento..." Taisuke let out a cough and more blood trickled down his chin and neck from his lips. "Kento...wore my anklet...did you really remember about it? The anklet you chose for me..." He was breathing brokenly as his hand slid down to clutch on to Takizawa's clothes instead. He shouldn't feel this way. That there was something nostalgic, comforting about being in Takizawa's arms.
"For me, really, Tono?" Taisuke could remember laughing and hugging the other after receiving a present from Tono. That day, he had been filled with happiness. He felt loved, needed, treasured. He was never going to leave Tono.
Sometime after that, a year or two later, the calls for him suddenly stopped. Taisuke remained hopeful though, that Tono would remember him and would call for him again. Tono wouldn't forget him so easily, wouldn't tire of his dancing so easily.
Day after day went by though, and eventually, even he who was always considered to be positive knew that all hopes were gone.
Tono had discarded him.
"Of course I noticed it...but then there had been rumors about you...or I had been told rumors about you being...rather 'free' with your affections...I thought you had discarded me and Kento had just picked it up by chance...but every time I looked at it I remembered your smiling face... remembered your dancing...when you were out of my reach...when people wouldn't let me call upon you anymore...I tried to look at other dancers...but as much as I enjoyed their performances, none could measure up to you..." Takizawa gently caressed Taisuke's cheek. "You were the only one who was able to make me happy after Tsubasa left..."
Taisuke smiled softly, weakly. "They may be pretty words for me because I'm near my death, but...I'd like to believe them..." Was he being too forgiving all of a sudden? He could feel his life draining from his body though. He couldn't care about those small details now. He tilted his head slightly into Takizawa's touch. "I was special to you..."
"You still are, Taisuke! You still are..." why was nobody coming? Takizawa looked around again but then fixed his eyes on Taisuke. "You still are special to me, Taisuke...don't leave me like that again...please...dance for me again..."
Taisuke could barely shake his head. "I don't have to strength to move anymore... Everything is...getting darker..."
"No! Taisuke! Stay with me! Taisuke!!" Takizawa tried not to shake the other, knowing it would just make things worse.
"Y-you're really warm," Taisuke said, his voice getting weaker and weaker. "I always liked you holding me..."
"Taisuke..." he cradled the other in his arms, held him tighter, closer. It was all he could do right now.
He couldn't even hold on to Takizawa's clothing anymore, the fabric slipping from his fingers. With the last of his strength, Taisuke reached up and touched Takizawa's cheek properly this time. "I...I'm happy you...noticed me, remembered me," he whispered. "Tono..."
His hand slipped away from Takizawa's cheek and fell down.
"No! Taisuke! Taisuke!" Takizawa called out but Taisuke was no longer able to listen.
Author's Notes: For those who were wondering, you now know what Tono feels about Taisuke? 8D;;
And um, like, it feels like we're writing a Shakespearean tragedy or something. //whacked//
Our poor muses...
Comments are love and appreciated!